Can't say it's been boring, but I wouldn't write a book about it! Thanks for sharing the stories with me...one to note occurred to a friend's husband. They live a beautiful home in the woods, the house is mostly hidden from the road, except for a great view of the front porch and side yard as you pass by the entrance from the road. As they have a for sale sign out front, many people slow and take a gander at the beautiful view...
The husband is wonderful about upkeep on the house and attends to details with care. On this given day, he was touching up some of the detail on the intricate front door, he is on all fours, his head down and one arm off the side supporting himself. He felt something on his hand and wrist and assuming it was an ant or bug of some sort gently shrugs his arm and hand when he felt it again and looked down. Now to better understand this story, I interrupt it to give you some details. Mr. X is no small person (he is about 6' 5" and well built, definitely not fat). His hands easily can palm a basketball. He has rescued many a fair maiden and I'm sure a few men from some nasty critters before.
Where was I...oh yeah, Mr. X is quite surprised to feel the bug or bugs still on his arm, looks down and sees the biggest spider he has ever seen outside of a zoo...legs attached to the hair on his wrist and hand. He flipped his hand as he was jumping to his feet, the bug went flying and somehow managed to land right on Mr. X's shirt. By this time, it is my understanding, Mr. X is a hopping and jumping and trying to get it off. The spider is staying attached to the shirt, so he did the same thing anyone of us would have done, started screaming and taking off the shirt(Ok, if I was still consious at this point, I would have ripped it off and thrown it one direction as I ran the other...no taking it off for me, what if it got in my hair...oh yeah, he doesn't have any!). As the shirt went flying, so did the spider, right onto the loose net shorts that he had on.
Ok, by now, I would have been freaking, I surprised to learn that he was...the shorts were seen flying through the air one direction and the bug the other. With one piece of clothing remaining and the heebie--jeebies everywhere a thorough,yet frantic, search commenced. Upon a feeling a crawling bug, the underwear started to come off, but the sound of a car on the road brought him to his senses where instead he just quickly looked to ensure the safety of 'his boys' and a mad dash into the house (not through the freshly painted door although it wouldn't have stopped me!).
While I had trouble believing the that the spider could have been THAT big, I was definitely a believer as details (and proof) started flowing in! Some of that being a corpse (which had the spider been on me probably would have been me and not the spider!)and some very humorous accounts from others...I wouldn't have believed it. Let's just say it was true and that I am NEVER going into the yard again. I would also recommend keeping the story quiet and such large critters from view until after the house was sold...although I have heard he was thinking about knocking off a couple of thousand dollars if it would help be rid of the house and he didn't have to finish painting the door. It is my understanding that the back door and the door through the garage are getting a lot more use.
As I re-read this, it loses something in the translation between written word and the telling and acting out of the story. When I heard the story I had tears running down my face (shall we say the man WAS sighted with very little on, specifically with a waistband pulled out and undershorts on the way down while jumping around like a maniac)!
I know it doesn't sound that funny now, but I hope you enjoyed the story. Interestingly enough, 2 days later in the paper was a nationally syndicated story in the sports section about someone who had taken up hunting spiders with shotguns...maybe Mr. X is a secret writer or (and I shudder as I write this) the spiders are getting bigger and bolder.
